Monday, November 30, 2009

5 Minute MANAGEMENT course...Dont miss it

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbor..

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says , 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'


Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure..


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone..

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients..'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch..

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.


Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy..
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.

(3 ) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Sunday, October 25, 2009

untitled

Aaj zindgi aise mukaam pe hai…ki saari yaari dosti sirf gtlak pe hai
Har cup coffee me feekapan hai …aur hanste is chehre pe mukhaute ka rang hai
5*3 ke is kamre me hum band hai…aur hamare saath tanhai ke ye gum hai…
Har pal jeene ka khwaab dekha tha hamne…kya pata zindgi aise mukaam par layegi...
Chah kar bhi azaad na ho paye kabhi hum…aur ye roz dard ke ghoont pilayegi…
Bhaari is sar me kitne hi khayaalaat bhare…. Aur bhaari is jabaan pe meri jaane kitne alfaaz ruke…
Ek pal me main phoot na jaun..ye sochke…wo saare humne apne paas rakhe
Har pal jeene ka khwaab dekha tha hamne…kya pata zindgi aise mukaam par layegi...
Chah kar bhi azaad na ho paye kabhi hum…aur ye roz dard ke ghoont pilayegi…

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

A few glimpses from Europe


Need I say anything about this one??





View from my apartment window..Kaiserslautern, Deutschland






BMW Museum, Munich..






St Peter's Basilica, Vatican City..Rome






Beautiful scenary, Aachen..Germany





On the beach, Den Haag..Netherlands





"After I dived the sky", Interlaken, Switzerland

One of my best pic: Berlin

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Rumours and the Honour

Once upon a time an old man spread rumours that his neighbour was a thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for wrongly accusing him.




In court the old man told the Judge: ‘They were just comments, didn’t harm anyone..’



The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man: ‘Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come back to hear the sentence.’



The next day, the judge told the old man: ‘Before receiving the sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper that you threw out yesterday.’



The old man said: ‘I can’t do that! The wind spread them and I won’t know where to find them.’



The judge then replied: ‘The same way, simple comments may destroy the honour of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it.



If you can’t speak well of someone, rather don’t say anything.



‘Let’s all be masters of our mouths, so that we won’t be slaves of our words.’




courtesy: Amitabh Bachchan's blog

Monday, July 13, 2009

Common sense is Dead

An Obituary printed in the London Times - Interesting and sadly rather true.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, *Common Sense*, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn’t always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I’m A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


Brilliant !!!! Absolutely brilliant !

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Last Lecture from Randy Pausch

Here is a link for a very famous "The Last Lecture" from Late Prof Randy Pausch. Its titled as Achieving your childood dreams...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo


I have taken some dot points from the lecture...I hope we find them useful..atleast I do.
1. If people perceive as a jerk, you are limiting your accomplishment.
2. Selling something worthwhile like education.
3. Have FUN
4. Never loose child like wonder
5. Help others
6. Loyalty is a two way street
7. Never give up
8. Brick walls let us show our dedication
  • Get a feedback loop and heed it
  • Show gratitude
  • Dont complain, just work hard
  • Be good at something, that makes you valuable
  • Find the best in everybody, no one is all evil
  • WORK HARD

Monday, April 27, 2009

Audi A6 Ride

Wow!
Thats what comes out of your heart when you hitch a ride in such a lavish car, the Audi A6.
The moment I saw it at the main gate of our institute (as I was waiting to take hike from somebody or the other) I was excited. Only the driver was there in the car. So, I just waved my hand and asked for hitch. And he paused at once.
And then, the moment he opened the front door, I was just awed ..simply awed by the beauty of the car. The interiors, the seat, the comfort, the dashboard, the multimedia devices...etc etc etc..., it was the first time I was sitting in such a luxurious car.
The ride was very small, just 2kms to say. Five minutes maximum I guess. But, all through those few minutes, I was volatile and unstable inside.
There was a unique excitement and smile on my face. My eyes were glowing. I was so happy that I just couldnt believe it. I had just seen all those things in movies...but for real...this was it.
And it was THE CAR I had ever been inside.

I wanted to smile fully, I wanted to express the joy, but being seated besides the driver, continuously I was trying to suppress those expressions and showing up just a little smile. I had to. And then when I came out of it, I was so happy. It was like you get something that you have dreamt about but never thought of coming so close to it.


All of it sounds so childish..and yea it is. But there are a few things which you just dream of, and if all of a sudden you get even an inch closer to them, you feel awesome. So did I felt.
Awesome!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Poem by Dushyant Kumar

A poem by very famous poet Dushyant Kumar

हो गई है पीर पर्वत-सी पिघलनी चाहिए,
इस हिमालय से कोई गंगा निकलनी चाहिए।

आज यह दीवार, परदों की तरह हिलने लगी,
शर्त लेकिन थी कि ये बुनियाद हिलनी चाहिए।

हर सड़क पर, हर गली में, हर नगर, हर गाँव में,
हाथ लहराते हुए हर लाश चलनी चाहिए।

सिर्फ हंगामा खड़ा करना मेरा मकसद नहीं,
सारी कोशिश है कि ये सूरत बदलनी चाहिए।

मेरे सीने में नहीं तो तेरे सीने में सही,
हो कहीं भी आग, लेकिन आग जलनी चाहिए।

- दुष्यन्त कुमार

Life Under Construction

0-5 years: Version 0.0 to 0.5 -
Being a kid, pooping and peeing here and there, learning to shout to speak to walk to run to smile and to Love.

5-10 years: Version 1.0 to 1.5-
Still a kid, Getting primarily educated, recognizing locality and surroundings, roads and streets and people around me;
Introduction to Uttar Pradesh stereotype surrounding;
abused a neighbour of mine in front of my mom, a rememberance.

10-11 years- Version 1.5Beta- Transient phase to the outer world. Gearing up to shell out of cocoon.

11-16 years- Version 2.0 to 2.5-
Going to sainik schools at Ghorakhal,Nainital and Lucknow(a unique life experience), Living in hostels, socializing, self dependence, adolescence, puberty, realizing that girls are really pretty and that something happens chemically inside us ;)
Infatuation with a girl, confessing her to which she kept me waiting for next four years until she finally just forgot me; had a lot of crushes; had loads of fun;
Asked too many questions in schools. Gave a good result for my high school.
Had a wonderful camp and tour to Goa in 2002-03 winters.
Had a few wonderful teachers, rendering some life time inspirations and lessons.
Nationalist, patriotic, socialist thoughts high in my mind.
Made a few lifetime friends;
Abuse n curses on highs.
Life was fun..all of it. Never cared for anything else.

16-18 years: Version 3.0 to 3.2-
Life in Kota, coaching at Bansal classes, living alone, working hard, sucking life, miserable it was which finally paid off resulting me landing in IIT Madras. I was and still am very miser.
Lifestyle prevented from all cash spending funs. Didnt watch a single movie in theater in Two years in Kota.
Was quite famous( ok, notorious) at Bansal Classes for asking doubts.

18-20 years: Version 4.0 to 4.2-
Life at IIT Madras. Two years at hostel.
Life sucked at times and it rocked at others.
Got screwed for saying What The Fuck to one of my seniors. :X
Frustration, ego, silly mistakes, attitude problem, shouting, carelessness.
Girls are never comfortable in my presence. I am too despo looking form my face.
Choreo, Drama, Robotics, Poetry, Blogging, and nothing serious.
Painful for others.
Lessons learnt- not much.
Met a few of the greatest seniors.

20-21 years: Version 5.0 Alpha & Beta-
Art of living, a bit of self realization.
Reinvented myself. Smile on my face.
Hectic life. Taking a part time teaching job. Earning some cash of my own.
Mono-acting.
A failure in a course. A bit more self realization. Interests in academics.
Singing. Dont care what others think about me.
Reconstructing and structuring myself.
A bit more sincere for acads n other works. Started to dream about the rarest thing I thought of in my first two years: pursuing a PhD.
Working harder. PanIIT 08- Drank for the first time- Banged the DJ Floor Harder
After 450+ applications, secured four internships.
Being more practical.
Getting a girlfriend. :)
Moving towards atheism.
Experiencing bureaucracy.
Enjoying the lucky charm.
Finally making my dream come true: taking my first ever flight (and its international as I always dreamt my first flight to be)




Looking ahead: Endsems of April 09, Internship at Germany & a wonderful Eurotrip ahead,
Deepening my research interests, Upgrading myself with reinventing process, Loosing my virginity ( getting laid someday somewhere very soon) ;)
Securing a strong base for further professional career ahead.

Waiting for the new release of Version 5.1 Alpha

Saturday, April 11, 2009

e-Letter to GOD

Dear Mr God!
I am not sorry if you are offended when I call you a Mister.
After spending almost twenty one years of my so called life, which has just been a long long series of incidents, I just wanted to talk to you. So here I am. Well, its not the first I am talking to you...but ofcourse its the first time when I perceive you no more as the so called ALMIGHTY.
Things have happened to me...as they do with others. Not boasting for my hard working deeds nor calling myself lucky...I would just like to conclude that this fate, on an average, has been just a NEUTRAL, & I hope you understand what I mean by this NEUTRAL. There large number of arguments I can provide, to tell you that I have been quite unfortunate and my bad luck has deprived me of so many things I wished for. But...at the same time...you can give an equal number of arguments for what all I have been provided and privileged with. So lets not argue about that. Lets just forget what the hell or heaven you might have written...or thought to be written in my fate.
I recall from the beginning of my childhood..being brought up in a typical middle class vaishya Hindu family..you have been given quite a lot of verbal importance in every context, no matter what it might be. So, the influence on this poor man writing this letter to you, had been quite a lot.For so long, I believed that you certainly do exist somewhere in the seventh sky or some galaxy or somewhere else in this universe..and observing all of us. And trust me...for most of the cases ..its was the fear for your presence and not the encouragement..that we had to do good deeds. That very belief in my subconscious mind, I have not been able to remove it completely from my head. And you know what, I hate you for all this non sense. Your presence or absence, practically, has not been effective at all. Infact the faith has been degrading my performance quite a few times. There have been times when I had cried recalling you...demanding something..in lieu of keeping my faith. There have been other times when for a long duration I didnt care if you are there. You were indeed an irritation for my thoughts.
So why am I writing all this today???
All of a sudden, what happened that I am talking all this non-sense, or may be sense.
Its just that I want you to know...and I want the others to know......that I cant digest your conception any more. It ll take me some more time to remove you completely out of my mind.
Its just ridiculous...when at times I used to call you ..or recall you....assuming that you will help me out. I was so wrong. I mean think practically, out of more than 6 billion people on this bloody earth, what would be the probability of you listening to me...even if you actually existed.
This life around me has been running so well or unwell...just because of the humans around me are messed up in all the things- good or bad. I dont have to talk about if you control my fate or anybody's fate for that matter.
My knowledge & wisdom, how so ever small it may be, has compelled me to draw this conclusion, atleast for myself, that...you are nothing more than an imposed composition and illusion.
Things happening in life, events taking place, incidents & accidents caused so far...they just have been...I dont want to call them destiny. They just happened....you know just like every other thing does.
I am capable of doing what I can..and react accordingly of what I am. I cant recall you or pray you anymore. Neither can I devote 1001/- prasadam for you at the temples. If I do something good..I dont expect from you to tap my shoulders. And if I do something wrong, neither do I expect you to blame me. I shall do the things I want. You may wait and watch..if you are so jobless....OR..you may simply lie down in front of your devotees in thousands of temples and chuches and mosques and god (you) knows where....and have free lunch.
But take it from me...I dont have a single penny to give you...I dont have a single second to remember you.....and I dont have a single word to praise you...and I dont have a single word to criticize you either. I just dont care if you are...or if you arent. But for sure I want my belief of your non existence to be preserved and protected. I dont want some Tom Dick n Harry coming to me and telling me that the GOD says....blah blah blah....Its my belief or non belief...and I shall fight to protect it. You may feel jealous..after all you are loosing lots of prasadam from me..which you, so happily, could have feast upon while millions of other creatures keep on fighting for the single grain.
Events happening here have been related to me...problems are mine...and I shall do my own efforts to solve them out. I dont need your leverage at any step.
I hope you might have clearly got the idea of what I want to convey.

Good luck for you Mister.

And yeah, by the way, GOD bless you...(you may bless yourself, ofcourse).

See you again on earth.(I dont want your hell or heaven)

Good Bye

Monday, March 30, 2009

This is life..

Laugh a loud sometime
cry hard sometime
Fall in love with someone..
get ditched by a few ones.
Work hard ..burn off your backs..
get a pot belly..not just the 6 packs.
love a stranger..heed a few beggers..
mess up in the streets...jus like those niggers..
Stare at a cleavage..whistle for some babes...
stalk some girls..get into some rages.
Help an stranger..forget it off...
put on shiny plastics...a little show off
Work like an ass...get crooked by a shrewd
take away some chances..be a a little rude...
Cook something veg..roast some nice meat..
some what messed up..n somewhat neat.
Be a tech savvy...put on some formals...
dust yourself..and move on as normals.
sometimes...wear a mask, cheat with 'em
pity on them..regret for them..
forget the almighty...as if u dont care..
take up the things you dont even dare.
pull up your sleeves..and strike with no fear..
but heed the pain..when bad times are near.
Nothing is free ...and the pains we bear..
give us the fruits of life my dear!!!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Abduction

This is inspired from the incident when terrorist/militants arrive at the doorstep of a house and are abducting the child of that family...they are going to train him and make him like themselves..and this boy's life is never going to be the same....
Following lines are describing the situation of the moment when The Danger Man is standing at your doorstep and the feeling that you have inside you..
I wrote these line when I read the article in The New Indian Express.


दर्द है क्या ये तड़प है कैसी ,
आग लग रही बदन में जैसी
हर आहट में डर है भरा सा,
सामने मेरे यम् है खड़ा सा ॥
हाथ में उसके मौत का फंदा
और आगे आतंक का राज
आई है चुनने की बारी
जीवन और इस मौत में आज ॥
हर आहट में डर है भरा सा
सामने मेरे यम् है खड़ा सा ॥
आया वो मुझको है लेने
काल स्वयं हो आया जैसे
आशा की हर किरन है बुझी
शून्य अन्धकार हओ जैसे॥
हर आहट में डर है भरा सा
सामने मेरे यम् है खड़ा सा ॥


as of now..its not complete and left in the middle..i am still wondering to write it further...didnt get anything relevant at the moment..so just thought I would share this much piece of work itself.

one of the very first and most beautiful poems I learnt as a child...

लाला जी ने केला खाया
केला खाके मुँह पिचकाया
मुँह पिचका कर तोंद फुलाई
तोंद फुलाकर छड़ी उठाई
छड़ी उठाकर कदम बढाया
कदम के नीचे छिलका आया
लालाजी गिरे धडाम
मुँह से निकला हाय राम !

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Laugh and the world laughs along

प्रिय मित्रों ,
पेश है मेरी नई रचना .........


"चलते चलते भी हम हँसते
रुक रुक कर हम फ़िर से हँसते,
जीवन की इस भाग दौड़ में
खून पसीना बहा बहाकर
हाथ जोड़ते पैर पकड़ते
तान ये सीना फ़िर से हँसते,
कौन है असली कौन है नकली
फर्क क्या इससे हमको पड़ता,
आज है कोई और कोई कल
साथ में इनके चले चला चल ,
जो भी है बस आज ही है सब
जो होगा कल देखेंगे तब ,
कल किसने देखा है यारा
कभी मैं जीता कभी मैं हारा,
इक हँसी है मेरी जो है अपनी
आज भी है और रहेगी कल तक
चलते फिरते हँसी बांटते
साथ साथ हम चलेंगे जब तक
साथ में है ये दुनिया अपने
सदा से है और रहेगी तब तक "

Me

You see me first
I may annoy you
You see me first
I look frust( frustrated)
You see me first
I look plump
You see me first
I may look pervert
You see me first
I look desperate
You see me first
I may look awful

Then,
You see me again
I make you laugh
You see me again
you get a friend in me
You accept me
I get a friend in you
You see me again
I hang out with you
You see me again
you realize I am pleasantly plump
You see me again
you can count on me
You see me again
you know my weakness
You see me again
you know I am honest
You see me again
you know my past
You see me again
you see my life is a open book
You see me again
you be a part of that book
You see me again
you know you can always trust me
and you realize, you can count on me for the times when you need to count for someone


Finally, when you see me off,
you know I am a part of you.... you cant forget me so easily....

Welcome to ME....